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Writer's pictureJennifer Reuben Connery

How To Speak Up For Yourself And Stop Feeling Guilty

Updated: Dec 10, 2023

Do you find yourself holding back from speaking up due to the fear of disappointing others? If so, you're not alone. The fear of disappointing others is a very real and common obstacle that many of us face. We naturally tend to avoid arguments and conflicts, but the price we pay for suppressing our needs is high.

Looking back at my own journey, I vividly recall the experiences from my younger years. Whenever I dared to speak up, I was met with a range of reactions - rage, dismissal, guilt, and even manipulation. It was as if I had won the jackpot of negative responses!

This early conditioning shaped me into a people-pleaser, always striving to be liked rather than respected.

The Breaking Point wasn't until my 30's that something life-altering happened. I hit rock bottom, burdened with Epstein Barr, anxiety, guilt, and depression. These struggles dominated my life as I constantly operated in fight-or-flight mode, desperately seeking approval and acceptance.



woman with hands on her head feeling frustrated talking to another woman

It became clear that avoiding life and people was not the answer.

The key to overcoming the fear of disappointing others lies in regulating our emotional responses and developing a healthier style of communication.




When we achieve this, life becomes easier, not harder. I promise you that. Reaping the Benefits: By shedding the fear of disappointing others and embracing assertive communication, we unlock a world of benefits:

  1. Discover more quality time and experience less strain for yourself as you confidently express your needs.

  2. Open the doors to increased support from loved ones, colleagues, and friends at home, work, and in all relationships.

  3. Embrace a sense of deservingness, allowing yourself to receive favors and kindness with ease.

  4. Feel genuinely heard and understood in conversations and conflicts, fostering deeper connections and mutual understanding.

  5. Experience a newfound sense of relaxation and confidence in expressing yourself authentically.

  6. Gain a deeper level of respect from both others and yourself, empowering your personal growth journey.


Overcoming the fear of disappointing others is a transformative process that leads to personal growth and fulfillment. By finding the courage to speak up and express our needs, we create a life where communication flows freely and authentically.


Remember, the rewards of embracing your voice far outweigh the temporary discomfort of disappointing others. It's time to reclaim your power and live life on your own terms. For further exploration on assertive communication and overcoming the fear of disappointing others, create boundaries without feeling guilty,


Check out my Free eBook to creating boundaries and healthy communication!


Remember, every journey is unique, and it's essential to find the approach that resonates with you. Embrace your voice, trust yourself, and embark on a path of personal empowerment and fulfillment.

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